The Gottman Method at a glance

I came across this nicely made, very simple, poster from Yes! magazine, that gives an overview of the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. The Gottman Method is the theory that informs the structure of my work with couples. It always puts a smile on my face when I come across simple explanations for seemingly complicated things. The principles of this theory are simple, but practicing them on our everyday life takes intention. If there is something we all should know by now is that a good marriage – fulfilling, connected, satisfying – is merely a reflection of our interactions with our partners in every day life. How is your marriage doing? Would you say that both, you and your partner, feel connected, fulfilled and satisfied with your relationship? Think that if your relationship is not on the right track, leaving it alone will just lead it further into the wrong path. Here is the link for the poster, I hope you enjoy...

When Infidelity Hits You

Life as you knew it is over. The relationship as you knew it is over. Infidelity forces you to turn off the movie of your life, where you were the protagonist of a story that you thought you knew very well. All of a sudden, you start questioning not only what you knew about your marriage, but your own identity. At this point, focus on being mindful of the steps you take as you handle chaos. Don’t run away, chaos will follow you. Resist the temptation to separate immediately. Don’t make big decisions; you are in the middle of a crisis, and important decisions should not be made right now. And as hard as it can be, this is one of those dreaded growth opportunities, even if all you can feel right now is anger, confusion, loneliness and pain. Infidelity is an invitation to take a deeper look at your life and your marriage. I know, you wish you never received this invitation. You may stay married after all this. You may not. It is way too early to know the outcome of all this. Hang in there, the growth will come if you simply don’t run away. You are paying a very high emotional price for this, so don’t waste it on superficial solutions that wont’t lead you to really understand what happened to you. An affair is always more that an affair. It is an invitation to face the things that were probably lurking under the surface and affecting your relationship. It may feel like you are trying to find your way in a completely dark room right now, you feel...